Archive for the ‘Ukraine’ Category

Europe’s unhealthiest snack foods

05.15.09

How do the Dutch manage to stay so trim? I bet it’s got more to do with the 15,000km of cycle tracks rather than the dietary staples of potatoes and margarine.

Karađorđeva šnicla (Karadjordje’s steak) from Serbia

Or perhaps it’s because of a ban on foie gras, the controversial French delicacy, which is still “fatty liver” no matter how you spin it (‘a liver that has accumulated a large quantity of lipids through lipogenesis or the transformation of maize carbohydrate and fatty acids’ with ‘unique nutritional and organoleptic properties’… hmm… very unique…)

It may be part of French cultural and gastronomic patrimony, but it doesn’t make it any healthier! I was actually surprised the first time I came to Europe and was confronted by the amount of fatty and deep-fried food on offer. Isn’t this supposed to be from the recent realms of the New World?

Czech it out - smažený sýr in the making

But Old World junk food can be as fast as it comes, something I try to push from my mind whilst wolfing down pub fare like smažený sýr (a thick, bread-crumb-coated slab of fried cheese) in a bread roll on the streets of Prague or some hot and oily rösti (potato pancakes) in Germany. I’m still yet to try the deep-fried steak from Serbia, Karađorđeva šnicla (Karadjordje’s steak), or the Bavarian schweinshaxn (deep-fried pork knuckle)!

Bavarian schweinshaxn (deep-fried pork knuckle)

What really takes the cake – or in this case, the chocolate-smeared animal fat – is salo from the Ukraine. Stereotyped as indispensable for the Ukrainian as vodka for the Russia, salo is a chunk of pig fat. Plain and simple. I think this description best dispels any salo myths: ‘unlike lard, salo is non-rendered pork fat. Unlike bacon, salo has little or no meat.’ Ouch! Talk about a direct hit. Not this, not that, just fat.

Slices of salo

Salo v shokoladi” (salo in chocolate) is a humorous expression akin to the English “chalk and cheese” – but it became reality in a Kiev restaurant a few years ago. This sweet salo, dubbed the “Ukrainian snickers”, is even more gut-churning than a deep-fried Mars Bar.

But as for my favourite of all strange snack foods (with a milder accompanying health warning) is the Russian sirok, which I’ve nicknamed “chocolate cheese.” It’s a little chocolate-coated bar, filled with a light and flavoured tvorog, and best served cold. Sirok is almost like a small chocolate coated ice-cream, but filled with a curd cheese like the French fromage blanc or Italian ricotta. It comes in all sorts of chocolate, fruit or even jam-filled flavours, and I am certain that this was the real scientific breakthrough of the Cold War (forget that space race, the Soviets just mastered cheesy confectionary!)

Thank you Alex, for this sneaky supermarket sirok photo!

I haven’t met anyone else who shares my passion for this “chocolate cheese”… although I have a sneaking suspicion that the perpetual popularity of singer Tom Waits in Russia might have something to do with a misinterpretation of his “immaculate confection” song Chocolate Jesus

‘It’s got to be those chocolate cheeses… makes me feel so good inside…’

Final countdown

03.28.09

Look, I know my blog is ranked up there with the foremost official world news sources, so I thought it was high time for a Eurovision 2008 update!

It’s less than two months now before all the hilarity of Europe’s #1 pop piss-take (oh, what? They’re serious? No, I can’t believe it!) and I for one am counting down the days until the May 24 final.

I’ve recently heard via a random text message that Dima Bilan will be representing Russia, and any long time readers (ie. my mother) will know that I have a somewhat reluctant fascination with Bilan’s disregard for good taste and dogmatic adherence to a sassy Slavic mullet. Speaking of sticking with a sinking ship, I’ve heard his Eurovision 2008 song already, and I don’t think this will be Russia’s year… again… and especially not since “Dima” – or should we say “Victor” – Bilan has lost the right to use the Dima Bilan stage name after a three year court battle.

So will it be Vitya Bilan performing this year? Only time will tell.

I just hope that one day Ukrainian drag queen Verka Serduchka will grace the stages of Eurovision again in the near future after she was robbed of her rightful crown, as Dancing Lasha Tumbai only came in at second place. All that glitters is not gold…

Verka Serduchka

For the sake of fond memories, here’s some of that Serduchka magic now: