For many foreign tourists, the first taste of Europe is somewhat of a frog’s legs-gelati-sauerkraut purée, washed down with red wine and beer by the keg-full. For in the relatively compact space of Europe it’s possible to realise the crossing of multiple borders and exposure to diverse cultures all within ten days.

A friend of mine once told me an amusing story of just sitting in an adjacent room and observing the package-tour gale bustling through the Louvre to catch a glimpse of the Mona Lisa. Like horses blinkered against any external distraction (in this case, any one of the 34,999 other works of art on display), the stampede could be heard to loudly exclaim every so often in noxious accents – “Where is she? Let’s find her and get out of this place!”

Guillaume and I went to the Louvre on Friday night though. This is when it’s packed with the youth of Paris and the world, looking for a late-night culture fix, because it’s free for all those under-26. We spent the evening in Ancient Egypt, and then headed home… via the gift shop… (sound the bells of doom now)

We bought a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle, a shrunken version of the enormous (h. 6.21m x l. 9.79m) Coronation of Emperor Napoleon I (1806-1807) by Jacques-Luis David (Guillaume’s choice…). Subsequently, we spent all Saturday night in, drinking beer and straining our already-temperamental eyes looking for details in fur coats, candle sticks and a red curtain (Guillaume had already done all the faces and edges).

The most amusing part of the jigsaw is the “puzzle after-sales service” leaflet.

It reads:

‘Have you lost some pieces of your puzzle? Don’t worry, let us take care of that. All you have to do is clip the bar code from one side of the box and paste it on this reply card. Fill out the card with your name and mailing address and forward it to us. We will mail back the solution of your problem right away’.

HOW!?! I’m tempted to just hide a few pieces, send away my name, phone number and address with the barcode (really, they ask for nothing else, no credit card, no stamped self-addressed envelope) and see if they reply with a “the missing pieces are under the bed”. Mystery and miracles… and a thousand pieces of coronation…