Ok, firstly, I need you to take a deep breath… clear your mind… and project yourself into a sun-drenched scenario, looking out upon a timeless terracotta vista of earthy-red roof tiles. Throw in, for good measure, an ancient city wall, and then the rich deep blue hues of the Adriatic.

Now, I have a story for you about Dubrovnik.

Somewhere amongst those stones is a little sign with an arrow. It promises you the ‘cafe with the moust beautiful view’. I was travelling with two friends, one of whom was celebrating a birthday. We had also met two laugh-a-minute Irish girls, which brought our party to five. With a few beers and the sunset, it seemed like a simple way to celebrate the event.

We perched nearby on the rocks with our drinks and chocolate cake, interested only in the ‘moust beautiful view’, rather than the cafe. That was, until nature called, and I sheepishly went to ask the cafe owners if we could use their facilities. I thought it might be more permissible if I was to explain why we were there, “my friend, she’s having a birthday”, and with an understanding nod I was shown through the empty chairs and tables, to the grass shack/hole in the rocks toilet.

Soon after I rejoined the group, the cafe owners came down to us with a tray of extra-potent rakija singing ‘happy birthday’. It was such a lovely and unexpected thing for them to do. They invited us to the cafe with our drinks, because it was a dead evening in low season, so why not celebrate together? Revelry ensued, and the evening culminated in the toilet being abandoned by some in favour of holding onto a rock, squatting and going into the liquid black of the crashing waves. By the light of day (the next morning), this dark abyss was actually revealed to be a steep vertical cliff face, with a long drop into the ocean. Eeeek! That definitely wasn’t the type of moonshine to enhance one’s night vision!